10 Fantastic ways to f*ck it up
1. Craft your messages
It’s dishonest. It’s not real. It’s often done to defend against competitors. Your myopic words are often focused on the wrong thing, wordsmithed in a vacuum, and are not your own. Read any mission statement. We all ignore them, as monk-crafted as they are.
2. Be safe
Want to blend in with the rest? You’re doing it. Yep, you’re perfectly camouflaged like a wall flower. Try this strategy in your own life and see how many people want to deal with you. Perhaps you could have your lawyers manage the public directly. We all saw how well that worked for Marvel.
3. Get spokespeople
Nothing like a talking head. As much as we believe that the Apple guy loves Apple products or that Kirstie Alley loves a big slab of Jenny Craig, there are real people with genuine things to say behind the curtain. Why are you keeping them there?
4. Make it about your product
Ever wanted to strike up a heart-to-heart with a car salesperson? Maybe check in on his feelings? I bet he wouldn’t chest-beat and tell you that his Hummers are the best or that you should buy one. He probably also wouldn’t tell you about his amazing partner eco-system and how they are what make his Hummer really stand out. At any rate, you’d certainly trust him and believe what he says, right? I mean, it’s Hummer!
5. Blindly jump in
There’s a microphone? Let me at it! How is it that most people, when asked to hang glide, don’t just run over to the glider, grab a part of it and jump off the cliff? I wish more people would but they usually try to learn a little first. Not so on the social web.
6. Try to be sticky or viral
Those who follow me know just how much I love the term viral. The next time someone uses these words, slap them in the face and tell them it’s from Sam. Want to make something sticky or viral? Work on your terrarium. Those lizards could use the flies and artificial reality. The rest of us really don’t care for your pranks.
7. Get it right
I hear you, I mean, perfect people are way more authentic. Nothing like a red, shiny apple to make me believe no chemicals were used. I think fear of getting it wrong is a fantastic way to keep you on the bench.
8. Give nothing
Go ahead, ask for advice, feedback, resources. We’ll give them to you. We’re sorta like those friends that loan you some money. Yeah, we do it for a little while but then after a while realize you’re a moocher. Suddenly our schedule looks sorta busy the next time you want to hang out. Sorry.
9. Do nothing
Here’s an idea, don’t talk at all to your employees, customers or prospects. Zero share of voice sounds brilliant. Maybe it will all go away.
10. Be obvious
Ever wonder why great photographs are great? It’s because they bring a new perspective we didn’t have before. It’s probably why a lot of photographers are good bloggers. They know how to show you something interesting. Don’t have anything interesting to say? Then shut up and listen.
Things people have said about this post
Thanks for tweeting me here. I like the first pic of messy laid bricks. Beautiful. But, if you are a teeny tiny producer (not GM) then tweeting about your product and process is a service, not a pain, IMHO. It’s all about scale, don’t you think?
I think Neil Young said it best.
I liked this very much! and I’m kinda anti-list blog posts these days. But this is hot, right on.
Great list! Glad I stumbled upon you from a twitter by @chrisbrogan. I love the themes of authenticity and what it means in marketing today… everyday. Thanks for this post, I’m passing it on…
Thanks for this. These are the things I tell my clients nearly every day — but y’know, not quite so concisely. I have my own peeve to add to your “viral” and “sticky” — grrr, “Robust.” And “solution,” for that matter. Enjoyed the perfect BOOM! quality of this post and may be linking to it for a while. Thanks again.
Wow. Thanks for the wake up. I think I love you. (Not really, but this was just so great!) Found you via Twitter @zenfishing
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Haaaha all time classic: “Those who follow me know just how much I love the term viral. The next time someone uses these words, slap them in the face and tell them it’s from Sam.” Slaps are gonna get contagious.
This is fricking fantastic. I just followed you on Twitter (@fein). So great to hear someone call a spade-a-spade.
Going up on my office wall. Fantastic gut check and a reminder that social and traditional marketing are almost complete opposites. Now if we can get a quick tool to change our dang DNA and quit getting sucked into our old ways…
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